Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize