I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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