This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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