it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
