dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
