I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize