I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
