Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
