Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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