Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
