Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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