Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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