i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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