She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was like eating out sand paper
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
