You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He felt like a one man threesome
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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