So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
