that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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