so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
