It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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