the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
