He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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