Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Everything about him screamed your future.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
