I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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