I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
