My first STD was from a foam party
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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