im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize