I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I could fuck to npr.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
