Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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