i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize