After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
