found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
