you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
