just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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