JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
