he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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