Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
