is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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