And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
