Me. At least after what I've been through.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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