I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
