Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
