Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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