Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
