...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
