dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
