Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
