i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
