I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
