ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
