Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
