watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
