He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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