Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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