You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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