Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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