well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
