i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
