the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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