I puked a lego.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
