The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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